I am a 62 yr old woman, married for close to 41 years. I have raised 4 wonderful happy and kind children who have all grown to young adulthood. In my early 40s as my youngest were starting school I prayed for guidance whether to get a graduate degree in Theology or Social Work. Both appealed greatly but I felt pulled to the seminary's accredited program. After 5 years of part time school while raising the four kids and working part time at my parish I graduated. I labored in the field for 20 years in the ministry of family faith formation. I worked alongside many amazing deacons and learned of the call to social justice and service. I received a second master's degree in Religious Education and became a certified spiritual director. All my degrees and training were completed at my own expense. I left full time catechetical ministry two years ago and have been discerning my next calling. Above all I know my heart is in service of God's beloved people. I have 20 of years very successful parish ministry experience. It seems to me that God has been readying me for the diaconate and I am ready to jump in with both feet. It saddens me that I am forbidden from answering God's call by a male centric interpretation of our church's history. I am sad and frustrated.