I have always joked about wanting to have a larger role in the church (as a priest) and in the Society of Jesus, but never realized that it was a true and deep rooted desire until a six months ago as a Jesuit Volunteer. Since then I have spent time discerning a vocation for deeper involvement in the church - starting with being a deacon. Whenever I talk about being ordained, or the idea of being a Jesuit, I feel most alive, and most genuinely myself. For this reason, as well as after discerning ordained life as a genuine desire and vocation, I believe these thoughts are from God.